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Please type back something comforting. It's been 20 years of this bullshit suffering. I wanna heal.fallen, JerrynnHey Jer,Where do I even begin with a guy like you? A four year e-mail and phone affair with a girl from another country? Are you kidding me.
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***QUESTION***
"Dave, just a quick question. I have read your book and put it into practice. I have gone out with a girl that I really like a few times and I want to see her more. I don't want to tell her that and seem "needy." I have played it cool and I asked her out for later this week. How can I push her over the edge and get her to see me more? Your help would be greatly appreciated.
-D"
***MY COMMENTS***
Ahhhh... why don't more guys email me with questions like this one? Now, this is a situation I can probably help make a HUGE difference for... because you haven't let it get to a bad spot before asking for help.
First of all, I ask you to re-think the idea of "pushing her over the edge and getting her to see you more".
Why's that?
Simple...
You are already starting to sound "needy"... like it's overly important that you get this girl. Now, I get it that she may be pretty special, and that you may want to take this relationship to the next level.
But if you communicate this TOO EARLY ON in the relationship with her, you are VERY LIKELY to scare her off, or make her see you as a wuss (I just love that word WUSS. It just explains the concept so well).
Your best be right now would probably be to see her a little bit LESS. Get a little bit busier with your life, and add another day or two between how often you see her for the next few weeks.
Keep up the ideas that you're learning here, and you just might have HER SAY TO YOU: "You know, I have been thinking about it, and I really like you..." etc.
And at this point, of course, you need to say:
"Wow, this is pretty sudden... you're not going to ask me to marry you, I hope... (as you smile)"
Are you with me here?
Remember, ATTRACTIVE WOMEN don't like WUSSES. They tend to be MORE ATTRACTED TO GUYS WHO DON'T "NEED" THEM. You've read my book, so you should understand why this is.
In any event, think carefully before you go confessing your undying love too early on...
A few more comments:
I've included these three emails to demonstrate a concept that I often talk about: Don't act needy.
I get several emails every week like these three.
Unfortunately, too many guys out there just don't understand that they can't CONVINCE a woman to feel attracted to them... they can't BEG a woman into submission, and they can't UNDO several weeks or months of acting like a wuss overnight.
"Uhhh, hey Beavis... chicks don't dig you because you're a wuthy... yea yea..."
So if you're guilty of having acted like a wuss in the past, commit right now to ending the pattern. Make sure you keep up the attractive behavior, even when things are going tough for her. It's in both of your best interests!